Patience

It is easy to grow impatient when we need something desperately.  I am now a Survivor, NED, No Evidence of Disease/ Remission/ Cancer Free.  Did I say cancer free?  On a visit with my oncologist I asked her the question, "In my case, what terms can I use after the completion of my treatments?"  "Can I use Cancer Free, NED, or Remission?"  She responded that I could use any of these terms.

I am still getting followup MRI's and Mammograms.  At the last mammogram, I waited for the technician to say I was clear to go.  The technician appeared at the door and said they needed to take more images and she would be ready for me in a minute.  A minute seems like a short period of time but forever when you want some answers.  While waiting, for 1 second I had myself back at testing and chemotherapy.  I didn't like what my brain was thinking.  I took a deep breath and told myself to hold on.  The technician took some more views and then I was cleared to go.

I can only believe that God has a plan for me and He will reveal it in Divine Time.   I will have to learn this as I go to each follow-up appointment with apprehension.

Mammogram Showed Cancer May 10, 2016

Today a year ago is when I went for my routine mammogram. I had my mammogram, went back to the waiting room. Waiting for that "all clear" the technician came back and said the doctor wanted more pictures. No worries I thought. The technician came out again and said the doctor wants to see you. He said I am so sorry, from what I've seen I believe you are in the realm of having breast cancer by 85%. I, of course was in shock. I went home, told my husband and prayed to be in the 15%. It's a year later, many biopsies, tests and scans, 2 lumpectomies. HER2 positive, ER+ (5%) PR-, IDC and DCIS cancers. I completed chemotherapy and radiation.  I will be getting Herceptin until the end of July 2017. I have gone to lymphedema therapy to learn exercises for my arm, to stretch out the muscles.  I will be taking anastrozole for 5 years to take the estrogen out of my body.  I am now working on my "new normal". This past month has been filled with many emotions. I am a person who is strong through an event and then cries later. I have been positive during my journey, I just believe my emotions are built up and need to release. This journey is a form of grieving.

This article explains it well

http://www.webmd.com/breast-cancer/features/life-after-breast-cancer-treatment#1

“Life after breast cancer means returning to some familiar things and also making some new choices.

The song says "It ain't over 'til it's over," but when you've had breast cancer, you discover that it's not even over when it's over.  The day of your last radiation treatment or chemotherapy infusion doesn't mark the end of your journey with breast cancer.

Instead, you're about to embark on another leg of the trip. This one is all about adjusting to life as a breast cancer survivor. In many ways, it will be a lot like the life you had before, but in other ways, it will be very different. Call it your "new normal."

"Chemobrain" and Other After-Effects

You watched the last dose of chemotherapy drip from the IV into your veins six months ago. Your hair has really started to grow back. So why are you still so tired? When are you going to feel like you again?

"Your body has just been through an enormous assault, and recovery is a huge thing. You're not going to just bounce back right away," says oncologist Marisa Weiss, MD, founder of Breastcancer.org and the author of Living Beyond Breast Cancer. "You've been hit while you're down so many times: with surgery and anesthesia, perhaps with multiple cycles of chemotherapy, perhaps with radiation."

Two of the biggest hurdles women with breast cancer face post-treatment are fatigue resulting from chemotherapy and/or the accumulated effects of other treatments, and a phenomenon some women have dubbed "chemobrain" -- mental changes such as memory deficits and the inability to focus. If you tried, you probably couldn't pick two more frustrating and troubling side effects for women handling busy lives, managing careers, and caring for families.

"You expect them to go away as soon as treatment ends, and they don't,"

How long after breast cancer treatment ends can you expect fatigue, "chemobrain," and other post-treatment side effects to persist? Everyone's different, of course, but as a general rule of thumb, Weiss tells her patients to expect a recovery period about the same time from your first "cancer scare" moment to the date of your last treatment. So if you found a lump or had a suspicious mammogram in April, and had your last radiation treatment in December, it may be August or September of the following year before you reach your "new normal."

"Even then, that doesn't mean that you're fully back to yourself again.  Ongoing treatments, hormone treatments, like arimidex, can affect the process.

Breast cancer survivorship is a marathon, not a sprint. That means learning to handle the symptoms that stick around after treatment ends.